Sunday, February 28, 2010

HE forgave... so shall you

mood .:::. thoughtful....

Today we're going to venture off from RudeGal and get to know more of Kesh....

Anyone who knows me could validate how expanding my heart could be at times. Often times iThink of it as a gift and a curse. A gift because iRecognize the realness of God's love, and iShare that with all iEncounter. A curse because, so many times iHave been done wrong, and it's always easier to forgive than hold onto negative feelings. If iChose to hold my friends/family accountable for their wrongdoings in my life, iHardly wouldnt have anyone around. It's called love people, pure agape love.

 If anyone knows about hurt, it would definitely be me. iGrew up with just my dad, my step mom was there, but no one could ever replace a mother's love. My mom was "getting her life together" (that's what we'll call it for now lol). Years later when iWas older, my dad reunited me with my mother, and even tho our relationship was tarnished, at the end of the day, it was my mother. iHad forgiven her for her abandonment and accepted her back into my life. 
Then there are guys... i've been cheated on in probably majority of ALL of my relationships... but amazingly i've never been the "all men aint shyt" kinna chick. As jay would say, #ontothenextone... and that was just my attitude. iForgave and moved on... it was easier that way. 

From family, to boyfriends, to friends.... it's the same story. Many people would probably look at me as foolish, yeah most do lol.

Most recently, iFell out with a very close friend, a guy who was much like a brother to me., we'll call him Chad (the story is a LONG one... we'll come back to it later)But basically, he dated a mutual friend.. and iBecame the third party, hearing the he say/she say, stuck in the middle of their problems, which eventually resulted in a termination of my friendship with both friends. The relationship between Chad and I suffered tremendously. It went as far as to each of us bashing one another publicly, it was a mess. Ne ways... we talked about the issues and made up, but some of my friends feel as if i'm 'stupid' for forgiving him and dealing with him again. 

My response: one, i'm a grown woman who doesn't have to justify my actions to anyone, but most importantly... iForgave him, plain and simple. Just as iWould anyone, because God tells me to...

Think about it. 
I'm not studying theology, or aspiring to be anyone's Pastor... whatever God has planned for me, it's for me and will happen further down the line. However, iDo know this one thing... iAm living and breathing on this very earth because God forgave, Jesus forgave. If God did not love and forgive us for our transgressions, then he wouldnt have sent his only son down to save us. What if God got caught in his feelings each time we did something wrong? What if God cut me off for each time iWent out to party, took a sip of that non-holy wine, laid down with a man before marriage, listened to that satan music, lied to someone, disrespected my mother and father?.... i'm almost certain out of my 22 years of life, i've had to had broken damn near all the commandments [except for Murder... i'm good on that one. sheeesh] iMean hey, im #jussaying iKnow i'm not perfect, nor do iLead the life to be, but if there's one thing iAlways try to do right, it's to love. To recognize the unconditional love God has for us, and iShare that back with the world; and with that love, comes forgiveness. 

The moral of this thought was... if ur feeling some type of way towards someone, no matter how good or bad, FORGIVE THEM. I'm not saying you have to patch things up and be bffs all in one day, but forgiveness starts in one place, the heart. No one knows what's in there but God. Forgive... iGuarantee your life will be so much better. The weight on ur shoulders will be so much lighter.

That's all for now good people....
later or whateva


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Nothing to wear... Nothing to do.

mood ..::. Sick as hell

Moment of silence for the Earthquake victims in Chile

So.. it's CIAA weekend, for the non-NC heads, it's basically a weekend held in Charlotte, that gives you a chance to party && bullshyt. Well, if iWanted to be politically correct, iWould say, it's a basketball tournament weekend, iThink; don't get me to lying. Ne ways.. the moral of that thought was, iSo shouldve went. Currently i'm stuck in blasted Durham with a sore throat, bad cough, and head ache.... blown. And what's worse is... iThink iGot this damn cold from my boyfriend. iCalled myself being a "ride or die" last weekend, iTook a trip back home and spent the entire weekend with him, while he was sick. Now... he's having dinner dates at PF Changs and Tattoo shops, and i'm sitting here with ya'll... No offense of course, iThink we having a great relationship, but right now it's much i'd rather do then sit at the computer screen and listen to this man ramble...

SN: So.. by no shape or form am I racist, but white ppl (esp these lil rich ass spoiled UNC/Duke students down here) can annoy the HELL out of me at times. So.. I'm sitting in the computer lab, and a pack of white chicks stumbled in (uber drunk) and the white girl falls into the lab, and blurts out: "Are you the shuttle bus driver?" Of course i'm giving her a MEAN side-eye... but iTried to be as nice as possible and iReplied: "Um... excuuuse me?" **pause** [it was then that she shouldve realized, okay she isn't lemme leave her alone. Did she? NO!] She continued, "iSaid, are YOU the shuttle bus driver?" iLooked to my left, looked to my right, then looked down at my attire, which consisted of black sweats, a black
PARADYCE [we'll come back to this name later] hoodie, and some 992s, WHAT about that said: "shuttle bus driver"....?? I simply told her to shut up and get the hell out.... #naiwonshrug

Ne ways, iSaid all of that to say... iWish iWere in Charlotte, NC right now instead of Durham. Better yet, scratch that... iWish iWere in the DMV. But it's kool... Spring Break is around the corner!!

Thursday, February 25, 2010



So.... um yeah. Uber new to this blog thing, but iWas inspired by a fellow blogger [ok, iSO forgot ur blog name gi gi lls] Ne ways, give me a week, and my blogs will be LAID.

iGuess the first blog is the "about me" portion... honestly, there's not much to write. I'm a current student at North Carolina Central University, but most importantly, iHave a lot to say. [and trust me, my opinion ALWAYS matter... #effumean] but hey, we'll see... this thing will be like a relationship, the layers will peel off gradually. iMean come one, iCant reveal everything to you guys at once.. technically we haven't even made it to first base yet :)

Ne ways, currently i'm doube fisting between tweeting and writing my lesson plans.. so iGuess iShould choose the latter. Tonight, i'll think of a blog topics to write about. Nice to get acqainted though.. i'll be later [or whateva]

ps... if ur on twitter, you should follow me sometime -->

later babies!!