mood .:::. thoughtful....
Today we're going to venture off from RudeGal and get to know more of Kesh....
Anyone who knows me could validate how expanding my heart could be at times. Often times iThink of it as a gift and a curse. A gift because iRecognize the realness of God's love, and iShare that with all iEncounter. A curse because, so many times iHave been done wrong, and it's always easier to forgive than hold onto negative feelings. If iChose to hold my friends/family accountable for their wrongdoings in my life, iHardly wouldnt have anyone around. It's called love people, pure agape love.
If anyone knows about hurt, it would definitely be me. iGrew up with just my dad, my step mom was there, but no one could ever replace a mother's love. My mom was "getting her life together" (that's what we'll call it for now lol). Years later when iWas older, my dad reunited me with my mother, and even tho our relationship was tarnished, at the end of the day, it was my mother. iHad forgiven her for her abandonment and accepted her back into my life.
Then there are guys... i've been cheated on in probably majority of ALL of my relationships... but amazingly i've never been the "all men aint shyt" kinna chick. As jay would say, #ontothenextone... and that was just my attitude. iForgave and moved on... it was easier that way.
From family, to boyfriends, to friends.... it's the same story. Many people would probably look at me as foolish, yeah most do lol.
Most recently, iFell out with a very close friend, a guy who was much like a brother to me., we'll call him Chad (the story is a LONG one... we'll come back to it later)But basically, he dated a mutual friend.. and iBecame the third party, hearing the he say/she say, stuck in the middle of their problems, which eventually resulted in a termination of my friendship with both friends. The relationship between Chad and I suffered tremendously. It went as far as to each of us bashing one another publicly, it was a mess. Ne ways... we talked about the issues and made up, but some of my friends feel as if i'm 'stupid' for forgiving him and dealing with him again.
My response: one, i'm a grown woman who doesn't have to justify my actions to anyone, but most importantly... iForgave him, plain and simple. Just as iWould anyone, because God tells me to...
Think about it.
I'm not studying theology, or aspiring to be anyone's Pastor... whatever God has planned for me, it's for me and will happen further down the line. However, iDo know this one thing... iAm living and breathing on this very earth because God forgave, Jesus forgave. If God did not love and forgive us for our transgressions, then he wouldnt have sent his only son down to save us. What if God got caught in his feelings each time we did something wrong? What if God cut me off for each time iWent out to party, took a sip of that non-holy wine, laid down with a man before marriage, listened to that satan music, lied to someone, disrespected my mother and father?.... i'm almost certain out of my 22 years of life, i've had to had broken damn near all the commandments [except for Murder... i'm good on that one. sheeesh] iMean hey, im #jussaying iKnow i'm not perfect, nor do iLead the life to be, but if there's one thing iAlways try to do right, it's to love. To recognize the unconditional love God has for us, and iShare that back with the world; and with that love, comes forgiveness.
The moral of this thought was... if ur feeling some type of way towards someone, no matter how good or bad, FORGIVE THEM. I'm not saying you have to patch things up and be bffs all in one day, but forgiveness starts in one place, the heart. No one knows what's in there but God. Forgive... iGuarantee your life will be so much better. The weight on ur shoulders will be so much lighter.
That's all for now good people....
later or whateva
callme_RudeGal
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